Hi. I'm Jessica. I live my life in Phases.
In phase one I was raised by a couple Boomers who lived by the silent mantra of emotional neglect. I was raised in an alcoholic home that was full of cigarette smoke and borderline hoarders - complete with a depressed mother and poverty level prosperity to tie it all together.
Most people expected me to stay in that town and follow in the footsteps of my parents - directly into a bottle of booze with a limited future.
But in a shocking twist, I didn't. Turns out, I thrived outside of those metal trailer walls and built myself a future.
I went to Penn State, got a degree in social work, met my husband and for the first time in my life, I experienced actual sunshine and even took a moment to appreciate it.
Phase 1 started out like a shit show, but ended with the love of my life, 2 gorgeous daughters and a new outlook on life.
Phase 2 was lingering in the background saying "hold my beer."
Phase 2 leveled me.
Like, LEVELED ME.
In 2007 my daughters were 2 and 5, and within the span of 90 days, they were both diagnosed with terminal illnesses. Back then, Cystic Fibrosis was most certainly terminal, and their life expectancy was less than 20.
I was sad and a deep depression found me. My marriage suffered tremendously. I gained weight. I wasn't sleeping. I was anxious all of the time.
And I was terrified.
Terrified of watching my daughters slowly suffocate to death. Terrified of burying them. Terrified of having to watch my husband slowly die because they died.
I had a million and one fears paralyzing my every thought.
I spent hours in my bathtub wondering what I did wrong, who in the cosmos did I piss off, and how the hell was I going to climb out of this hole?
How is it that the first 18 years of my life were not enough trauma for one person?
I stayed in that despair for 2.5 years.
Until I finally realized that I could choose differently. I give all of the credit here to Rebecca Campbell's book Light is The New Black - those pages pulled me out of the depths and gave me perspective. It gave me my light back.
And I chose differently.
- I stopped focusing on the sickness and focused on their giggles.
- I stopped fearing their death and started celebrating their lives.
- I stopped blaming the Universe and started asking "how is this happening FOR me?"
Phase 2 was the greatest growth spurt of my life.
It was in this phase where I learned how to show up to my own life, learning about vibration, law of attraction and how to navigate life with both in the drivers seat.
I came out of Phase 2 a completely different person than I was when I went in.
Phase 1 of my life was the RESILIENCE Phase.
It helped me build a foundation of strength, resilience and an inner knowing that the things I experienced were not actually about me. They were a result of the conditioning my parents had gone through in their lives - simply being projected on to me.
Phase 2 of my life was the Catalyst Phase.
This phase truly sparked the inner work that I needed to step into who I truly was. My childhood caused me to hide who I was - never being able to speak without fear of being attacked. But Phase 2 forced me to become an advocate for my children, to use my voice, and ultimately led me down a path of self discovery. One that showed me just how much I was hiding from the world.
Which led me to Phase 3: the Vocal phase. I exploded into leadership, into being vocal and into being someone I barely recognized.
Phase 3 did not disappoint.
Phase 3 was the shedding of the old and the reinvention of the new.
I embraced the journey of self discovery even more and focused on intention, I learned about human design and vibration and I became obsessed with both.
I redesigned my life from the inside out.
Every piece of it. I repaired my marriage, my Body, Mind, Spirit and even my surroundings, and in Phase 3, I became the woman who was unapologetic about who she is, and went after whatever I wanted.
I built a $750K company from scratch. I bought our dream house. I traveled. I led thousands of women into their dream future. I became the expert in my field.
BUT, the best part of Phase 3?
I don't believe it's any coincidence that in Phase 3 of my life, a new drug was developed for Cystic Fibrosis. A drug that stops the progression of the illness, and gives my daughters a close-to-normal life expectancy.
Phase 3 did not disappoint.
Which brings me to Phase 4 - this phase I'm in now. I'm calling it the Flow phase.
In this phase of my life - which could very well be the next 20 years - I am focused on my own flow, helping others learn to flow, and mastering the art of staying in the flow even though the outside world around me is a shit show.
I haven't been through the worst life has to offer.
But I've felt the fear, the despair, the anxiety and distress.
And it's now - in this beautiful Phase 4 - that I know without a single doubt in my heart that this is why I'm here:
To show the world that the worst things can happen, and if you simply allow yourself to choose differently, you can shift into a new phase again and again - unapologetically.
Here's what matters most about all of this:
- Choosing to work on yourself.
- Choosing to learn about your human design (my design is likely the reason I was able to escape such a shitty childhood)
- Choosing to be intentional about how you show up
- Choosing to trust.
- Choosing to believe that you're here for a reason
- Choosing to look from a new perspective.
It all comes down to different choices. Different thoughts. Different perspectives.
It all boils down to CHOOSING DIFFERENTLY.